I think those might be three of my favorite things. There just has been an abundance of beauty in the sunsets lately and even some full moon brilliance this year so far. But I will admit total disappointment for the storms this summer. We have not necessarily lacked for rain on average, but the thunder and lightning blustery storms have been pretty null and void. I am not wishing dangerous storms on anyone, just loud and magnificent.
But I hope in the fact that summer isn’t over yet. My thinking tends to go with the school calendar, relegating summer to June through August, but it flows way into September yet. Is there such a thing as Fall storms??
I have an appointment this week to talk with an office about weight loss. I think it is going to be a program that isn’t affordable for my budget and relying on products that are full of ingredients I cannot justify consuming? But where is the line between damaging your body from excess weight and damaging your body from ingredients that no human should consume.
I have been praying through so many things and can honestly sense God reminding me that I need to be willing to put aside MY agenda in order to embrace His. And, since mine is not working, that is not a problem on the surface. But man, I do not like unknown??
So I am begging God to give me insight. I have to put aside absolutely everything I believe is right. Or at least that is how it feels inside. But there are things I know:
- God is not going to lead me astray.
- God has my good and His glory in mind.
- God will walk with me along the way He sends me.
- God has a specific plan for me to follow.
But how to discern that plan? No idea.
This is where I feel like a bad Christian. I cannot determine how to see God’s plan in order to walk in it. I know there are things in Scripture that lay the foundation but when I try to funnel those principles down into something as specific as eating, I get lost in the muck and mire.
In all honesty, the one program I followed in the recent past that actually worked was Bright Line Eating. And I am dedicating some prayer time about going back to that. And sticking with it instead of quitting. And as part of putting aside all I believe about food, it is probably going to include some meat in the dinner menu. As I think back, did all the issues I now have with food start when I became a vegan, and subsequently kept striving for more raw?
I defined the Reclaim the Temple Project as obedience to God in what to eat. I have tried to realize that for months and months now with no success at all. And the amazing thing about it all is I have never stuck with anything for this long in the recent past. Not successes, and certainly not failures. But for reasons only God knows, He has kept me wrapped around this thing. I will admit that one of the ways He has done that is through trials of chronic pain. But since it has worked to bring me to an end of myself, I accept it all.
I am going to work through the Bright Lines Eating program and familiarize myself with it, making no decisions until after the appointment Wednesday. I have never prayed so hard for wisdom before, but for some reason God is being so silent? It is hard for me to not start thinking about why this might be so. And jumping to the conclusion that there is so much sin in my life that I need to work on eliminating first.
But I quickly remind myself that God doesn’t work that way.
It is easy to conform God to an image I create for Him in my head and heart, but He won’t be conformed. He is above my conforming process, and He expects me to be in the habit of searching the scripture for truth that overrides my sinful tendencies.
So I am closing and heading into a serious rereading session of Bright Line Eating: The Science of Living Happy, Thin and Free.