One last reminder of winter. Love my icy pic. And actually today we are having a nor’easter, with icy precip and snow and wind to blow ya to Alaska!! Winter is hanging on and refusing to leave!
Have the last couple weeks been so busy doing fun stuff that I have had no time to blog? Have they been so productive that time has escaped the quiet moments which allows for writing?
No, to both of those. I have tried to get to this for what seems like forever with no break in a rat race that may only be occurring in my head.
Now in my defense, Little Lovely has been home from college for Spring Break. So, it has been a different flavor of life with her here. A flavor I like a lot!! And this flavor was life until she left for college. It left me alone, and I had to work out a new normal.
And I did, and that new normal is good. But when she is here I switch back to the old normal happily, because spending time with her matters most. This break had a bit of a strange vibe because Little Lovely had some doctor’s appointments to go to. Lots of tests, and not many of the results are back yet, but it seems that something is going on in her colon? We have heard Celiacs. We have heard Crohns. We have heard, “Eat more fresh stuff” which she truly does. Or maybe I should put that in the past tense, because going from eating raw and organic to eating college dining hall food I am sure was a shock on her system??
So we will wait for all the tests to come back and then see what it looks like. In the mean time, lots of natural supplements for digestive ease. IntestiNewO was added. Renew Life is a great company. We are adding Digestive enzymes from Garden of Life. Chewable, right!! Yay.
After a few days, the issue has not subsided but we are just praying and holding hope. It is a constant belly pain, sometimes very minor; sometimes very major.
You can see why I have not had a lot of time to think about me. But today I was feeling less frazzled and got on the scale. While there was no loss from the last weigh in, there was also no gain. So while that is not my goal, it was better than the opposite would have been.
Little Lovely leaves tomorrow, and while I am sad that she will be gone, I will be back to concentrating on me. I need to get my mind focused again on weight loss and show progress. I did not achieve the first DietBet I participated in, which makes me super sad; but I quickly signed up for the next one and am not gonna dwell in the past.
“The itch of self-regard craves the scratch of self-approval.”
I came across this statement the other day, a John Piper quote. He goes on to say that if we are getting our pleasure from feeling self-sufficient, we will not be satisfied without others seeing and applauding our self-sufficiency. This statement is an oxymoron, because the act of needing approval is opposite of the idea of self-sufficiency, right? The definition of sufficiency is being adequate. Itching for glory from others or even from yourself makes faith in God pretty impossible, since the definition of this faith is satisfaction in God.
So I began (once again) to think through the whole battle of how much is my responsibility and how much is God’s? You hear things like, “Stop Striving”; “let go and let God” . But that is such nonsense. What about verses like “resist the devil and he will flee from you.” The resisting is up to me. It is work for me to do.
Hebrews 12:14 tells me to “Make every effort to be holy.” Again, making every effort is a work that I need to do. And obesity is a state of unholiness. I have heard there are people who have medical conditions that cause them to gain weight, but for me personally, it is a state of unholiness. And I am to be making every effort to be holy.
So this is the nutshell version of why I see myself as so disobedient. So many people ignore the whole issue. So many people write it off as “the way it is” but God has shown me that I cannot do that. He is asking me to do the HARD so I can be part of a fix. The place where I work has only a few dozen employees and more than 60% of them need to lose weight. And it is a Christian work place. And they make fun of me when I talk about eating well. THIS NEEDS FIXED but until I have a model to follow, the right to say “do this cuz it works” I will continue on in silence.