I believe every time I get to the day to write this weekly weigh in post, I want to qualify it a million ways. But this week is doubly so, because I did not have a good week. And I lost 3.8 pounds?? Somehow??
A thought that came into my brain: I think I actually tend to expect too much from myself and do not give myself the credit I might deserve when I eat A LOT less than I used to and make choices that are 200 times better than the choices I used to make.
Here are some choices I had the HABIT of making:
stopping for fast food on the way home from work; burger, fries..
eating enough food at a meal for a couple people; maybe three
pretty much eating non-stop all day long
choosing food over God…and just about everything else…every time. All the time.
eating in secret; this was a newer habit as the conviction got heavier and heavier to change my devotion back to the Lord.
Here are some new habits I have formed (or am forming):
I plan three meals each morning and pray them to the Lord.
I do not EVER stop for burgers and fries.
I eat appropriately for one person by writing down the calories in the food I eat.
I do not snack at all; the only thing I have between meals is coffee. With 3/4c of almond milk (35 calories).
I am doing everything I can to put God first, consciously, purposefully. 24/7
While I eat alone most of the time, it is not longer in a secretive manner, with the intention of shame.
Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, and I learned a LONG TIME AGO that it was a holiday that I needed to ignore. I have spent the better part of the last couple decades without a significant other of any kind. And honestly, it was a decision made for me that God has definitely used for my good. He drew me closer to His heart, little by little and taught me so many things. If I had never been left, I am not sure my life would have ever allowed me to draw near to my Savior. It was too self-sufficient and easy. It had to get hard and dirty before I could realize that Jesus was calling me.
Self-love. I am really trying to learn how to do this and get behind it. I know it is a commandment in the Bible, which is probably the main reason why I feel like I need to work on it.
A verse that I come back to so often is I Corinthians 10:13. And yes, I am guilty of becoming too familiar with it and not really hearing what it says:
NO temptation has overtaken you that NOT is common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted BEYOND YOUR ABILITY , but with the temptation He will also provide the WAY OF ESCAPE , that you may be able to endure it.
Every time I read the verse I have a different thing jump out at me, and most recently, this was my revelation:
“with the temptation He will ALSO provide…”
So if He “ALSO provides” the way out, HE ALLOWED THE TEMPTATION as well. In the midst of whatever issue we are facing, God stands as the permission granter and the way out. BOTH!! The Word says that God does not tempt anyone (James 1:13) so if what you are experiencing is a temptation, it is of the devil, not the Lord. But in my experience, it is hard to tell a temptation from a trial? After it is over, they are easy to distinguish. But not beforehand for me. A trial always has built into it the capacity to leave us wiser than when we began. I choose to consider everything a trial until I get to the point where I realize spiritual warfare has taken over. Then I say, “Get behind me Satan,” and move away instead of pushing through.
I know, it’s weird, but it works for me.
So if I remind myself that the issue before me, say with food…
DON”T MAKE THAT CHOICE.
DON’T EAT THAT CRAP.
YOU AREN’T HUNGRY…
is something God stands in the midst of because He allowed it to happen, I have a lot more POWER through His Spirit to talk it down.
And if it is…say….the whole Valentine Day issue…
no one to love
and no one to love me
and an inability to put it all in the right perspective…
I can rest in the quiet confidence that He has it all covered and knows the end and how my story will play out until I enter heaven. Christ taught me a long time ago that we get one chance at marriage, unless our spouse passes into glory before us. If we share this earth with a former spouse of any kind, we remain single…for everyone’s good. The ONLY one who will change my mind is the Lord. It is His call and documented in His word.
Obedience. There is that word again. In my life, that is what it all boils down to. Always. If God is directing all my energies in a direction that is proving to be SO HARD, and I can get on board and OBEY, I dream about what God might be leading me toward!