Christmas in my little corner of the world was wonderful. The day was peaceful, filled with some great family moments. It wasn’t centered around gift giving, although there was some of that.
Good food. Lots of laughter. And did I mention SNOW!! Really!! In an area where snow is pushed into the new year, if at all, we awoke yesterday morning to a covering. A light covering, but white none the less.
Snow is my favorite of God’s creations, followed closely by the moon when it is full from my vantage point here on Earth.
Spent the day today in an attitude of contemplation. For the most part, it was great. But there were some snags along the way, too. Like, letting myself get too hungry. And confusing what I wanted to be a set of clear directions from the Lord…and now I see that they were just not.
When I get myself into situations that turn out wrong, I have a hard time not getting very anxiety ridden. I don’t know how to explain it in words, but if you could creep inside me at that moment, I think you would be afraid!! But, I followed some wrong “good advice” because I wanted it to be right “good advice” and now I have to wait patiently for the whole mess to settle.
So, how do people who claim to hear so clearly from the Lord do that?? I need that skill as the New Year approaches? I do think what tends to happen is a distrust. I would not call it that, mind you, but in the waiting I do not think that a God who is TOTALLY SILENT AT THE MOMENT can be trusted. That is a huge character flaw to leap over, folks!
The aftermath of the anxiety filled hour is a headache and exhaustion. Serves me right! But I have to learn a better way. The idea of launching into the Reclaim the Temple Project is kind of scary, and if anxiety is the aftermath of the scariness I am sunk before I launch! So there has to be a game plan. And that plan starts with an attachment to Christ that doesn’t falter.
A surety of the plan.
And good food here at home to eat. Because this is where I am going to originate every bite I take. Whether it is preparing food here to take to work or holding off until I get home to eat…it all starts here. This provides a two-fold blessing of weight loss and budget adherence!! Both are needed!
Last night I read the testimony of Nancy Brown, co-author of Breaking the Stronghold of Food, and I was struck by something-her testimony, in part, could be my own…so maybe I am not so weird and abnormal after all. Before anything could change, Nancy determined four “had-tos:” she had to recognize there was a stronghold; she had to cry out to God for help; she had to determine that she would obey; and she had to implement that tips she felt God was giving her. I think the first three are under my belt, and I thought the fourth one was also, until today, when the fourth one fell apart. In all honesty, I am glad it presented itself as not-of-the-Lord before it got out of the starting gate!
Nancy went to great lengths to avoid temptation. When you are a food addict, everything imaginable can be a trigger. She identified them and did her best to avoid them. She also writes about the importance of taking every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). I am really bad at that. My mind can wander to the moon and back before I am even aware that it has broken free of its cage. But I realized today that if Scripture tells us to take every thought captive, then we are able. His Spirit enables us to do the things He expects of us. There was comfort in that thought.
One of Nancy’s sentences jumped off the page at me. She said, “I’ve done whatever it takes with the wisdom God has given me to get the job done and secure a victory.” I want to be able to say that as 2018 comes to a close. I want to remind myself hour by hour that if I quit or permanently fail, the loss will be deep.
So, yes, it scares me a lot to make these big changes, but it scares me more to think where I will be in December 2018 if I make no changes. I plan to weigh weekly, but the scale shows nothing except pounds shed. There is so much more to this project than that. I almost wish I could have some spiritual indicator in place so that I can be constantly aware of my positioning in Christ.
But there are some purely physical things that will give me confidence that healing is taking place deep down in my cells and those will be measurable and plain: joint pain, skin bumps, etc. I have a very physically demanding job, and there are days when I work half a day and can hardly move. I will notice when that gets better for sure.